Hot Fuzz: Naked or Au Natural?

Hot Fuzz: Naked or Au Natural?

 

When I was 8 I committed my first act of war. I had my mom sit me in the kitchen sink, bust out the scissors, and shear my arm hair like garden shrubs. From there the battles only intensified. I’ve plucked, pulled, threaded, and waxed, but the hair always seems to find a way back. Sometimes, with a vengeance. The root of my hair insecurity is still unknown. Perhaps it was my brother nick-naming a classmate “hairy prairie” or the look I got when I took off my shin guards after football practice. Either way, my feelings only magnified as I got older and learned what it meant culturally for women to be deemed desirable. As a perpetually broke young adult I have learned to pick and choose my battles. I’m beginning to ask myself, is it time to make peace with the peach fuzz?

Vestigial is a fancy word to describe something that no longer has a functional purpose. In biology you learn how vestigial features illustrate evolution. Unfortunately, hair still serves a multitude of purposes. “The human body has over five million hair follicles. It helps maintain body temperature, acts as a sensory organ, and protects your eyes and nose from dirt.” When it comes down to the fuzz between your legs its scientific purpose is still up for debate. Some theorize that pubic hair has various evolutionary purposes, possibly a symbol of adulthood, a protection mechanism, or as a pheromone producer. Next time you pay loads of money to have a stranger rip hot wax off you in a dark room, feel free to remember that this cultural exercise isn’t necessary in order to define yourself as “clean”, but if it keeps you feeling more confident - go for it!  

If you want to keep flirting with hair removal here are some of our go to methods:

For eyebrows, mustaches, and anything lurking on your face

We suggest threading.

For those of you who have been fortunate enough to have not experienced this torture method, it is exactly what it sounds like. Your esthetician will take a piece of thread, pinch it between their thumb and index fingers whilst rigorously rolling it on the offending hair. This unique removal process manages to fire up your tear ducts and makes your nose itch. Although unpleasant, threading is typically inexpensive and the results are well worth the temporary discomfort. You’ll leave the salon with immaculately shaped brows and an upper lip that could compete with a newborn’s bottom.

For the bikini zone

We suggest waxing.

The first time I got a “brazillian” I spent an absurd amount of time in front of a mirror rediscovering my ladybits. Part childlike, part lioness, a good wax can empower you to feel spontaneous and free. Obviously one of the more painful things you have pay a good bit for, a waxess brilliance lies in its sporadic upkeep. You can feel relatively hairless for weeks and unlike shaving; the regrowth period isn’t itchy. Shout to Carrie Bradshaw for our favourite on screen waxing moment:

Carrie: I got mugged. She took everything I got.

Samantha: It’s called the Brazilian wax.

Miranda: Why didn’t you tell her to stop?

Carrie: I tried. I feel like one of those freaking hairless dogs.  

For arms, legs, or anything else you fancy

We suggest sugaring.

We are relatively new to this too, but we absolutely love the idea. For ladies with sensitive skin or a light dusty of fur they are ready to say goodbye to, sugaring is the perfect DIY long term hair removal alternative. The HuffPost broke it down for us, “[Sugaring] does not stick to skin but only to the hair. Therefore, it really gets the hair out of the roots,” said Kapil. “So rather than a wax that adheres to your skin and pulls your skin when you are removing the hair, sugar just binds to your hair and only pulls the hair.” We’re keen! Here’s a recipe from Sprouting Healthy Habits to test the magic for yourself:

Ingredients:
  • 2 cups White Sugar
  • 1/4 cup Lemon Juice (preferably bottled)
  • 1/4 cup water
Methods:
  • Add all of the ingredients in a pan and mix together with a wooden spoon
  • Turn on high heat and watch it until it starts to get really foamy/bubbly
  • Reduce to medium heat and continuously stir
  • Cook until wax is a medium golden brown (can take anywhere from 5-10 minutes)
  • Remove from heat and allow it to sit for 5 minutes (meanwhile take a spoonful of wax and put it in the fridge, wait until it has cooled and check consistency) *if it is still too runny return to heat for another couple minutes
  • Once you reach correct consistency remove from heat and pour it into a bowl to cool
  • Allow to cool for about 30 minutes